The following is a post by our friend Amy Kay, who has begun, recently and courageously, to voice and share her experiences with schizophrenia on her blog Voice of a Schizophrenic. We are happy to share her story..
I used to tell people “I have a bad brain.”
I am not going to say I suffer from schizophrenia but rather I endure and cope with it.
My name is Amy Kay and I have schizophrenia. I do not want to hurt others or myself. Neither do I hear voices and I no longer live in a delusional world.
In 2008 during my initial psychiatric breakdown it started with a state of euphoria. I became very social and wanted to talk to everyone I came across! This was a sign that something was wrong. Normally I am very shy. As my brain disorder progressed I went to euphoric to delusional. I believed that I was Mother Earth. That I was responsible for taking all souls to heaven with me.
As my condition worsened I thought my best friend and my older brother were trying to poison me. I ran away from them until the police finally caught up with me. I ended up in the psychiatric ward for about five days. There I met God, Eve and the devil but that is another story.
Shortly thereafter my dad and step mom drop everything to rush to Orlando, Florida and get me. My closest friends help me pack up and say goodbye.
My parents drive me back to Mobile, Alabama to take care of me. When I arrived in Mobile I had no insurance and could not afford the medications.
About a month into my stay I began to suspect my stepmother was trying to harm me. I saw her walking around with a knife that she had used for gardening purposes. I ended up back in the psychiatric ward for two weeks.
After leaving the psychiatric ward I was put into a group home. I lived there for a few months. In the group home I received the medications I needed but I felt like I had lost all of my freedom! Once my medications were straightened out I went to live with my dad!
Today everyone tells me that I am handling my mental illness very well! Sometimes I feel depressed and I have trouble getting close to people. My thoughts can be disorganized. My memory is not always great. Even though I have this disorder I do more than just cope. I take my medications, receive counseling and have a good support system.
I control schizophrenia! It does not control me! Recently I started a blog chronicling my life and how this condition slowly reared it’s ugly head.
I want to inspire people like me that we can live full productive lives! Until recently I would not have attempted to write a blog. However with the encouragement of friends I found that I was more than capable at this endeavor.
Life is difficult. Even more so with a brain disorder but having a fulfilling life is possible!
Please take the time to visit Amy’s blog at Voice of a Schizophrenic and let her know we appreciate her!